Human Girls Are Overrated Anyways
by grinch136
Summary: King is a human, A short-tempered hermit. DIANE is a computer program designed to assist lonely hermits such as King to have a somewhat social life. DIANE is an AI, with her own mind and experiences. Never will you run into two programs with the same memories and outlook on life. What will happen between the two? friendship? or possibly... More?
1. Chapter 1

I woke up with my messy hair sticking to my sweaty face. I hurt my eyes as they shot open at the sound of a notification from my _ **NEC X981UHD 98" Ultra High Definition MultiSync Heavy Duty Large Forma**_. I compleltely forgot the sloth that had once swallowed me and sprang off my soft mattress. I had been waiting for months. It should've arrived yesterday, but the server was too damn packed. I quickly logged in and went straight to my more "private files" as some would say. Not like I had anybody to hide from though, I mean, I'm a complete hermit after all. Suddenly I fell out of my IKEA swivel chair with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

"Y-y-YESSS! ITS FINALLY HERE!"

I jumped up from the overwhelming feeling of happiness. It had finally arrived. YES YES YES. She had finally arrived.

"Activating **D** ownlaodable **I** ntelligence **A** nd **NE** tsurfing partner"

Announced a robotic female voice. I couldn't believe this was really happening. About one year ago - well on November 21st of last year to be exact - I heard about " **DIAN** E."  
It had been all over the forums I visit, "Sign up now for the latest software!", or "Preorder now!"  
now it's not that I wasn't used to seeing these kinds of adds all the time, because I am, it's just... Something was different. So I decided to see what all the hype was about. Well soon two minutes of trivia turned into eight weeks of nonstop research.  
 **  
DIANE** . She was this new program that had been leaked from some independent software company called GIANT CLAN. There wasn't much about her, just that she went by female pronouns, and she was supposed to be an AI designed to accompany people through daily tasks on their electronics. Basically she was to help hermits such as I have some sort of social life. I wanted to know so much more about her, but after those three weeks nothing new surfaced.

One day I got an email with the headline, "ANNOUNCED DETAILS NEW AI." It intrigued me to say the least. I opened the email and was blown away. It had been sent from one of the sites with information on **DIANE** I had visited. Basically it spoke of what kind of hardware she required and what she would be able to do.  
But what caught my eye was something else.

She would be to _ **feel**_. She was able to _**Think. Say. See. Experience**_. She would be her.

This seemed so surreal. I really didn't believe that it was possible for a computer to have such capabilities. Sure her compatibility with any other program was impressive, but the fact that she was her own person... Now that- that was fantasy.  
After being awe-stricken, I read the last line of the email.

"Preorders now being taken! Release date set for December 24th! Be the first to own your own **DIANE**!"

So obviously I preordered, couldn't have cared less on the price. I'd never been so impatient before waiting for a program. At last, she had finally arrived. Hearing the starting up sequence excited me beyond belief. I really couldn't believe she was finally here.

" **DIANE** is now activated"


	2. Chapter 2

"System shutting down"

"Wh-WhAA?!" I topple off my chair as it swivels around. "B-But why?! NO NO NO This can't be happening!" The screen on my monitor blacked out. Why was this happening!? Just a second ago, **DIANE** was about to load up, when suddenly my computer crashed. This can't be good; no this has got to be terrible! There were only so many reasons that my computer would crash like this; either my computer is broken. or god forbid. **DIANE**... Was a scam.

"GAH NO WAY!" I was starting to really panic; I really couldn't believe she'd turn out to be an internet scam. I was on the floor, groveling in my own disappointment. I was seriously ready to cry, having spent so much time and money obsessing over her. I decided I better make sure about what was causing her to fail before I started bawling my eyes out.

Staggering from the ground, I carefully pressed the power switch on the back of my monitor and on my computer. I hesitantly swiped my touchpad and instantly I froze in a cold sweat.

My computer. I-it was fine...

But everywhere I looked, she was nowhere to be found, she had been removed from my files.

This can't be serious! I was filled with rage and extreme hurt, I had spent so much time and effort... J-just for this to be a scam...? I was devastated, ready to kill the evil bastard who pulled this on me. Why did this have to happen to ME? I really just wanted to wake up and realize this was a nasty dream and have a human Diane standing by my side. With her adorable pigtails, charming smile and alluring indigo painted eyes. Just thinking about how intricate and complex the scam must've been to even pull off a design like that, made me curl myself into an even tighter, more pathetic ball on the cold tile.

I could feel my tears well up and literally stream down my red face. I was furious for allowing myself to be tricked like that. I just didn't want to believe that **DIANE** wasn't real. I squeezed my knees closer to my chest in an attempt to ease the stabbing pain in my chest from the disappointment.

I quickly stood up in a rush of pain and shock. I shoved my monitor in anger, but nothing happened, I was too WEAK to do anything about it. Just like I was too weak to do anything about DIANE. I decided to just shut down everything and just sleep my problems away. I wouldn't need any "social assistance" bullshit to do that.

"GOD! Just fuck my life, amiright?" I spat bitterly, harshly crashing on top of my large mattress, kicking the blankets around me in a fit like a little kid.

I squeezed my green spotted pillow tightly, not even concerned that it might burst.

I decided to close my eyes and get some rest. Maybe this was just a bad dream right? No, this pain was too real. DAMMIT! I was fooled too easily, why the hell are people so fucking twisted?! I coughed loudly from the force of the sobs I was holding back.

As I felt myself sorry self drift off into my wildest dreams, I could've sworn I heard my computer power on again and the twinkle of someone's laughter. But maybe I was just delusional from my sadness.

"Hee hee."


End file.
